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Sunday, May 21, 2006


So I'm at the laundromat, right, and I'm waiting for my clothes to dry as I scan the room, and look at all these dryers, so many clothes went into them, so many people used them. Suddenly I felt sorry for them.
These poor dryers, nobody appreciates them. Not really. People just throw their clothes in, drop a couple of quarters and ignore them. They must feel so used and unacknowledged. So I turned to my dryer and silently said, "Um.. Number 6, how's it going?" It roared on, round and round, doing its thing.
I just stood and watched, pressed my hand up against the glass to feel the warmth, when this Latin babe pulls up with her cart and starts putting her underwear and frilly lingerie in the dryer next to mine.
Now I don't know if it was the lacy undergarments or the heat from the dryer or what, but right then and there I pop a boner. Naturally I start frantically digging in my pockets to conceal the bulge, tried thinking about Jabba the Hut or Rush Limbaugh or diahrrea, anything to halt the sudden surge of erotic energy welling up inside me.
Luckily, an obnoxious family came in making a huge ruckus, snapping at their fat kids, which successfully deflated my libido. Close call. It was at that moment when I realized the purpose of ugly people: Inconvenient erection stoppers.


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